Fever
by K.C.Dragonfly
Summary: Sara Sidle is ill, but she's not the only one burning up ...
1. You make me wanna faint

**Hi all *waves*. This story is a personal request from a devout Cara fan :) **

**I hope it makes sense and y'all enjoy it. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or it's characters, or the original idea for this story. I'm just a bored student who's playing with them. **

**Stephanie, this one's for you x**

**x x x x**

"That man is going to be the death of me I swear!" Catherine seethed as she stormed into the break room, flicking her strawberry-blonde hair over her shoulder. Nick and Warrick exchanged amused glances and chuckled quietly, as they followed her in.

"So, you had fun with Grissom then?" Nick asked cheekily, which Catherine answered with a glare. However, before she could tell him to shut it, Greg wandered in and held out a manila folder to Nick.

"Just so you know, 62 DNA samples from one scene: not funny. I can't wait until I'm in the field." He grumbled before turning to leave. "Wow Sara, you look like hell." The lab rat-in-limbo said as he passed her on his way out. The three CSIs turned to the couch in surprise: they had not even noticed their young colleague. Sara was curled up on her side, one arm wrapped around her stomach the other curled under her head. He eyes were closed but she was awake.

"Damn girl, you look awful. You alright?" Warrick commented upon seeing his colleague.

"I'm fine." She mumbled, though it was barely audible and clearly a blatant lie.

"What's wrong Sara?" Catherine asked, perching on the edge of the coffee table in front of her.

"I said I'm fine." She repeated. Cath raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Because you don't seem fine." Catherine retorted, placing a hand on Sara's forehead, which Sara tried and failed to bat off. "You feel very warm." She said, brushing a stray brunette lock of hair out of her face.

"I'm ok, I'm just tired." Sara explained, sitting up stiffly, as if her muscles were aching.

"Well, this is a productive shift; cases won't solve themselves you know." Ecklie announced, poking his head around the door.

"We're just taking a quick break, and besides..." Nick began.

"Break's over. Back to work guys." The balding man snapped, disappearing as fast as he appeared. They turned back to Sara, who had laid back down and curled up even tighter, scrunching her eyes closed, as if trying to make herself invisible. Catherine raked her fingers through her brunette curls softly.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep, it's a quiet night." She suggested. Sara didn't say anything but nodded almost imperceptibly. Taking that as their cue to leave, the rest of the team filed back out, shooting her a final glance on their way.

X x x

"That's it? That's all you got for me?" She asked in disbelief. The lab rat shrugged.

"I wish I could tell you more, but DNA doesn't lie. Now if you'll excuse me..." They were interrupted by the sound of glass breaking. In a lab with this many test-tubes it was not an uncommon sound, but this was different, louder. Cath and Greg followed the noise to the break room, where they found Sara holding an empty mug and staring at the pile of broken glass at her feet, formally known as the coffee pot, a baffled expression on her face. Before they could say anything, Ecklie appeared unannounced for the second time that night.

"Clean that up Sidle, the rest of you back to work." He ordered, after surveying the scene before him for a moment. Greg looked at Catherine, who nodded for him to go, and he scuttled down the corridor after the new director, not missing the opportunity to ask Ecklie when he might be able to go in the field full time.

Catherine went to assist Sara, who had begun picking up the bigger shards of glass. Crouching down to help, Cath noticed that Sara still looked ill and her hands were shaking. Sensing that this was more than just being tired, Catherine gently grasped Sara's wrists and held them until the young brunette met her eyes.

"What's going on Sara?" She asked softly.

"Nothing. I told you I'm fine." The young woman said, tugging her wrists free.

"Sara..." Catherine warned in a tone she usually saved for Lindsey, but to no avail.

"I'm fine Cat." She reiterated forcefully, standing up unsteadily and stalking out of the room. Catherine watched her leave, more than concerned. After a moment she sighed and went back to cleaning the broken glass and spilt coffee.

"That girl is too damn stubborn for her own good sometimes," she muttered to herself.

X x x

"I'll probably regret asking but what are you doing?" Catherine asked, leaning against the doorframe. After cleaning up she had debated looking for Sara but, figuring that she would get the same answer again, went in search of Grissom instead. And here she found him, on his hands and knees in his office.

"I lost something." He explained absently.

"Oh. Well, I kind of have something I need to ask you." She said, standing up straight and wandering around him to perch on the edge of his untidy desk.

"DNA pan out?" He asked, continuing his search. She shook her head, confused.

"No. Look, this is important and I don't really know how to say it. It's about Sara." He stopped his search momentarily to glance at her.

"If you two have had an argument I don't want to know. Sort it out between yourselves." He muttered. She rolled her eyes. Typical.

"We haven't. I think something's wrong; she's tired, she's pale. She just dropped the coffee pot. I'm worried about her, but she won't talk to me." Cath rattled off. Grissom was nodding, but clearly not actually listening, so she hopped off the desk and crouched down next to him. "What have you lost anyway?" She asked.

"A cockroach." He answered bluntly. Cath let out a strange sort of squeal and leapt back to her feet. "Be careful," Grissom warned, "you might step on him." Catherine rolled her eyes and walked back out again.

"Don't know why I even bother." She muttered.

X x x

Since that plan had failed, she decided to see if she could get more sense out of the boys instead. Spotting them in the corridor she jogged to catch them up.

"Hey, guys. You seen Sara recently?" She asked, slotting in-between them. They both shook their heads.

"No, sorry. Greggo told us about the coffee pot though." Nick said.

"You think she's okay?" Warrick asked.

"No, but whatever's wrong she won't tell me." Cath sighed running a hand through her hair.

"Maybe she is just tired. If it was something serious I'm sure she would tell us." Nick offered, a hopeful look in his dark eyes. Cath chuckled dryly.

"C'mon Nicky, you know as well as I do that that's not true." They had found themselves outside the locker room and a metallic clattering sound from inside caught their attention. Peering around the corner, they were shocked to see the object of their concern; her back against the lockers and her breathing rapid and shallow. Rushing over, Catherine grabbed her arm by the elbow. Everyone knew that she wasn't big on physical contact, so they were a little surprised that she didn't fight back against this intrusion of her privacy. Instead, she threw her head back, letting it hit the lockers again. Warrick grasped her other arm. "Nicky, go get her some water, something." Cath instructed vaguely.

While the Texan dashed out of the room, the two of them tried to guide Sara onto the bench so that she was at least sat down. However, the venture did not go to plan.

Nick returned just in time to see his friend collapse. Luckily Warrick and Cath were quick to catch her. Warrick wrapped a strong arm around her slim waist, and Cath caught her arm and supported her neck as they lowered her to the ground, until she was cradled in the blonde's arms. She tried to count her pulse but it was too fast. Stroking her hair softly, she absently addressed the boys.

"Call an ambulance."

**x x x x**

**Leave a review, let me know what you think. More coming soon. x**


	2. She's a little runaway

**Thanks for the reviews so far, they made my day :)**

**x x x x**

As soon as the EMTs arrived everything seemed to happen so fast that they could barely comprehend what was going on. The boys tried to explain what had happened; despite the fact that there was nothing much to tell because they didn't really know what had happened. Meanwhile, Catherine kept a firm grip on Sara's hand as she was carefully lifted onto the stretcher and rushed through the lab corridors. Curious faces peered anxiously through the glass walls and hovered in doorways as Sara was carried out to the waiting ambulance.

"Go with her Cath, we'll tell Grissom." Nick shouted to her. "And don't worry about Lindsey; we'll call your sister." He added, but Cath had barely heard a word so just nodded and climbed into the back of the vehicle, never letting go of her friend's hand.

X x x

As soon as the doors were closed the sirens went on and they took off at full speed through the illuminated streets of Las Vegas. One EMT began fitting wires and IV tubes and things to her while shouting information to the other one, who was driving. Various words filtered in though the fog in Cath's mind: tachycardia, high temperature, low blood pressure. However, her main attention was focused on the unconscious girl before her. They had placed an oxygen mask over her face but she was still having trouble breathing.

"Miss?" The EMT's voice caught her attention and she broke her eyes away briefly to glance at him. "Has this ever happened before?"

"No. I don't know." She corrected herself.

"Does she have any medical conditions?" He continued. Cath shook her head.

"No."

"Is she pregnant?"

"No."

"Are you sure?" He pressed.

"Yes, no. Maybe. I don't know." She conceded. It was true, she didn't know the ins and outs of Sara's love life, there was every chance she could be pregnant. Cath was watching the EMT write something down, but a small movement brought her eyes back to Sara...who was blinking at her hazily. "Hey, it's ok honey. You're gonna be ok." Sara was trying to move around but the tubes were restricting her. Her breathing had gone rapid and unsteady again but she kept trying to take her oxygen mask off anyway. Catherine placed one hand on her chest, and held the mask on with the other. "No, no baby keep it on. It'll help you breathe." She stroked Sara's hair softly and whispered comforts to her scared friend. "It's ok sweetie, I'm here I've got you." She cooed gently. "Just relax babe."

X x x

As they pulled up into the ambulance bay at the hospital her breathing began to get more strained and her eyes were opening and closing slowly. "No baby girl, stay with me. Keep your eyes open." Cath pleaded. However, a bustle of people arrived as she was taken from the ambulance and into the emergency department. Despite the doctors and nurses that had appeared Cath managed to keep hold of her right up until they reached the examination room, when she was shoved aside.

"You can leave now." A doctor barked at her harshly. However, despite being semi conscious Sara managed to cry out for Cath and reached her hand out searching for the blonde. Catherine manoeuvred herself closer and gripped her hand tightly, running her fingers through Sara's hair.

"You heard her." She answered pointedly. "Don't worry honey, I'm not going anywhere." She said to Sara, though she was looking straight at the doctor. He looked her up and down.

"Are you family?" He asked finally.

"Yes." She lied. Though he didn't call her on it, his raised eyebrow suggested he did not believe her.

Sara kept drifting in and out of consciousness while she was being examined and hooked up to various machines, despite Catherine pleading with her to stay with her. Her eyes finally drifted shut and didn't open again, and suddenly the young woman started to shake and her heart rate sky-rocketed. "She's seizing!" One doctor yelled, and before she knew it Cath found herself outside the emergency room, staring at the swinging door in shock. Not knowing what else to do, she pressed her back to the wall and let herself slide to the floor, tears trickling from her eyes.

X x x

She was not sure how long she had been there but some time later a nurse appeared before her.

"Miss Sidle's family?" She questioned. Cath nodded hurriedly as she pulled herself ungracefully back to her feet. "She's stable now; we're going to keep her in for observation." The young nurse explained.

"Do you know what's wrong with her?" Cath asked.

"Not yet, we're still doing some tests." The evasive answer was not what she wanted, but Cath figured that it was the best she was going to get so changed tack.

"Is she ok?"

"Why don't you see for yourself?" The nurse smiled and held the door open for her to enter. Cath nodded thankfully as she walked past her. She tried not to let all the machines get to her as she made her way over to the bed.

Sara appeared sound asleep and, not wanting to disturb her, Cath lightly took her hand, stroking the back of it with her thumb. However, she was surprised when Sara wrenched her hand back, letting out a small whimper. Cath stroked her forehead lightly, and called her name, but the only answer she got was another cry. Thinking she was in pain, Catherine grabbed the assistance button and pressed it twice. Suddenly, Sara's movements got more defensive, pushing Cath away with one hand and clutching the covers tightly with the other. Catherine called out to her, trying in vain to calm the frightened girl down, but clearly whatever was causing Sara's night terrors had her locked tightly in its fearsome grip. When nothing else worked, Catherine lightly grabbed her shoulders and shook her, then a little harder.

Sara's eyes flew open and she quickly shuffled into a sitting position, curling herself as far away from Cath as possible, and staring at her with wide scared eyes. "Honey it's okay." Cath said, reaching out to her, but Sara shied away from her touch. "Baby relax, I'm not gonna hurt you. You're safe here. It's okay." She reached out a hand and carefully stroked Sara's cheek with the back of her fingers, holding out her other hand. Sara continued to stare at her in fearful suspicion, but she cautiously placed her hand in Catherine's. The blonde smiled and carefully sat on the edge of the bed. Not wanting to alarm her friend, she slowly wrapped her arms around her, placing a tender kiss into her hair.

"I'm sorry." Sara whispered tearfully, clinging onto Catherine. Cath shushed her and ran her fingers through her silky brown curls.

"No, no, no baby girl. Don't you apologise. Not your fault." She held her close for a moment before releasing her a little, but not completely. For the first time Sara seemed to take note of her surroundings and looked around her with a really cute confused expression. "You collapsed at work. We phoned an ambulance." Cath explained when it was clear Sara didn't know what she was doing here. The young woman's eyes widened and she started to try and get up, but Catherine put an arm around her shoulders and tried in vain to hold her still. While the two of them were locked in the battle, the doctor from earlier bustled in and picked up her chart from the bottom of the bed.

"Welcome back Miss Sidle," He bristled. "We've run some tests, are you happy for your family to hear this?" The tall, dark haired man asked Sara, shooting Cath an abhorrent glance.

"Definitely." She answered immediately, gripping Cath's hand tightly. Though she had stopped fighting she still appeared to be eyeing up the exit.

"Well, we're still not sure of the cause of your fever and we'd like to keep you in to run some more tests," he ignored Sara determinedly shaking her head and continued, "but we have done some blood tests and it seems that you are anaemic so we're going to prescribe you a course of iron tablets..."

"No." Sara cut him off bluntly.

"I'm sorry?"

"No tablets." She elaborated.

"Miss Sidle, I really recommend you take these. Just for a few weeks and then visit your doctor for a check up and they'll decide whether or not you need to continue."

"No." She adamantly insisted again. Catherine tightened the arm around her shoulders and held her other hand out to the doctor.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure she gets them." She said, so he handed her the pills and strutted back out, leaving them alone again.

"Not taking them." She insisted, untangling her IV tube from around her arm.

"Sara, they'll make you better." Cath tried to win her around, placing the pills in her pocket.

"Nope."

"Sara!" Cath groaned, "You really are too damn stubborn for your own good sometimes." She grumbled. Sara pouted a little, and Cath couldn't help but chuckle at her adorable sulky expression. She tapped the brunette's nose lightly. "You, young lady, are taking those tablets. And you're going to stay here until told otherwise and be good for the doctors." Sara opened her mouth to protest, but Cath cut her off. "No arguments!"

X x x

Despite still being slightly shaken up, Sara had started to drop off so Catherine tucked the thin blanket around her and left her to get some sleep. Still startled by the nightmare Sara had had, she was unwilling to leave her side just yet, but knew that she had some calls to make. She slipped outside to call her sister and ask her to take Lindsey to school in the morning, then called the boys.

"Hey Cath, how's she doing? She okay?" Nicky's voice filtered though her phone, and she could hear Warrick and Greg anxiously hovering in the background to find out the answer.

"She's okay. She's sleeping at the moment." She answered. She debated whether or not to tell them about what had just happened, but suddenly a different voice came on the line.

"Catherine? How is she? What's wrong with her?" Grissom barked worriedly.

"Gil calm down. She's okay. They don't know exactly what's wrong, they're still doing some tests but they think she's anaemic." After several minutes spent reassuring him some more, and promising the boys that she would give her their love, she hung up.

After that she went in search of a vending machine that served coffee, not so much for the caffeine but to have something to do. Having found one, she made her way back to Sara's room, only to find it empty. Puzzled, and if she was honest slightly scared, she collared a nurse and asked if she knew where Sara was.

"She's been moved to a cubicle in A&E." The young woman told her, calming her fears. Luckily thanks to her job and the fact that her sister was a nurse here, Cath knew her way around the building pretty well, but still managed to get lost in the windy corridors occasionally.

When she eventually found the cubicle, she was baffled to find that empty too. Sighing, she found another nurse and asked him.

"Excuse me, I was told that Sara Sidle had been moved here but her cubicle's empty. I was wondering..." she began but his eyes widened and he walked around her and pulled the curtain open, finding it empty just as she had said.

"Damn!" He cursed and collared a passing colleague, "We've got a runaway."


	3. So what you gonna do?

"You've lost her!" Catherine exclaimed incredulous. "How could you lose her? She was asleep!" She barked at the startled young nurse.

"I'm sorry Miss, we're doing everything we can to find her; she must be in the hospital grounds somewhere." He answered timidly. "She can't have gotten far." Catherine rolled her eyes.

"Yeah? Show's how well you know her." She muttered as she stalked past him.

X x x

After spending a good forty minutes searching the hospital, her phone rang. After receiving a glare from a nearby nurse, she slipped outside through the nearest exit to answer.

"What?" She snapped, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Catherine?" Grissom's surprised voice answered. "Is Sara okay?" He asked urgently. She sighed.

"I don't know Gil, how about I call you back when we find her." She said sarcastically, then winced when she realised what she had said.

"What? Where is she?" He barked.

"Well that's kind of the problem, we don't know. She ran off." Cath explained. There was a moment's silence. "Gil?" She prompted.

"I'm coming down there." He replied eventually.

"No, don't. Look there's half the hospital looking for her. Just stay at the lab, I'll call you as soon as we find her, okay?"

"Are you sure you don't need me? Are you looking for her now?" He asked. She rolled her eyes.

"No, Gil I'm stood here talking to you." She pointed out exasperatedly. "Look, I promise I will call you as soon as I know anything okay? Just stay there."

It took some convincing but she finally persuaded him not to come. Once she hung up, she found herself stood outside the emergency department, looking at the rising sun. A thought struck her. If Sara was trying to run away, she was hardly going to sit inside the building and wait to be found.

She'd go outside.

X x x

Wandering around the entire building, it took her all of ten minutes to find the elusive brunette, sat against the wall by the ambulance bay, struggling to breathe and shivering against the morning breeze. "Oh thank God." Catherine muttered, rushing over to her. Sara spotted her and tried to curl herself up even more, as if it would make her invisible.

"Are you trying to give me a stroke?" Cath chastised, crouching down next to her. It was only when she got close that she saw the tear tracks down her face. "Shush, it's okay now. I've got you. Just calm down honey. Everything's okay." She rested the back of her hand against Sara's forehead and this time the younger woman didn't even attempt to fight it. "My God, you're burning up." Sara shook her head.

"I'm not going back." Sara insisted, still gasping desperately for air. Cath pulled her away from the wall enough to rub circles on her back in an attempt to try and calm her breathing.

"Honey, we have had half the hospital looking for you. What were you playing at?" She brushed a stray stand of hair behind Sara's ear. The young woman didn't answer, just shook her head.

"I'm not going back inside." She repeated. Cath watched her with concern, unsure of how to handle this.

"It's okay honey, just calm down. Slow your breathing down, love." She cooed, continuing to rub circles on Sara's back gently until her breathing evened out a little bit. "Babe you're sick. We need to find out what's wrong so we can help you."

"I don't want help. I want to go home." Silent tears began their trek back down her ghost white cheeks again, and she wiped them away with trembling hands. Catherine noted how cold she looked and slipped her long coat off, draping it around her friend's shoulders and pulling it tight around her. Sara tugged it close and snuggled into it, needing the warmth.

A couple of members of staff who'd been helping to look for her rounded the corner and stopped to talk to an EMT. Seeing this as her chance, Catherine wrapped an arm around Sara's back, trying to help her stand up.

"Come on, let's get you back inside." But Sara curled away from her, tears flowing freely down her face now.

"No! I want to go home." Her hazel eyes locked with Catherine's blue ones. "Please don't make me stay Catherine." She begged, her voice trembling.

Cath looked between the doctors stood a matter of feet away, and her friend: pale, scared and pleading with her for help. She was torn between what she knew was the right thing to do and what Sara so desperately wanted her to do.

Sending a silent prayer to the skies that she would be forgiven, she held out her hand to Sara.

**x x x x**

**What will Catherine do? Review and you shall find out :) x**


	4. You're my star, yes you are

Sara barely said a word as she stared out of the taxi window. She had calmed down a lot since leaving the hospital and her breathing, though still laboured, was more relaxed. Catherine watched her carefully, concerned about both her health and her state of mind. Her young friend was obviously sick, but something about that hospital had scared her so much that she was willing to sacrifice treatment. Either way, something was terribly wrong with this picture.

Catherine knew deep down that she had done the wrong thing by taking Sara away from the hospital when she so obviously needed treatment. But she was going with her heart here, and her heart told her that Sara needed to get away from there. She knew that Sara still needed looking after, but she also knew the brunette well enough to know that she was not going to let anyone in if she didn't feel safe. And that was her priority right now.

Grissom was going to kill her for this.

X x x

As soon as they arrived at Cath's house Sara made to exit but Catherine stopped her with a hand on her arm. Climbing out herself, she handed the driver some money and walked around to open Sara's door and held onto her arm as she escorted her up the drive way. At first Sara tried to pull her arm free but realised that it was pointless so gave up and allowed herself to be led to the door.

Once inside Cath dropped her keys into a bowl by the door and wandered into the house, not noticing that Sara had not moved from the doorway. Rolling her eyes Cath went back to her and grabbed her lightly by the hand, tugging her into the lounge. "Unless you plan on standing there all day why don't you come in?" She deposited Sara on the couch and sauntered off into the kitchen where she grabbed the phone. She dialled the familiar number from memory and waited for the sleepy voice to answer.

"Nancy, hey. I've got a little problem."

X x x

After calling her sister Cath returned to the lounge, where she found Sara still sitting in the exact same spot she left her, looking around her uncomfortably. "You don't have to look so nervous you know. I don't bite." Cath assured her with a small smile. She sat on the coffee table in front of Sara, placing her hands on the girl's knees, and looked straight into her eyes, making sure she had Sara's full attention. "Honey, you know I brought you here because you asked me to, but if I think for one second that you need to go back I will drag you there kicking and screaming. Understood?" Sara nodded sincerely. Cath felt her forehead and was dismayed to find that her temperature had not decreased, in fact if anything it had gotten worse. "Sweetie, is there _anything_ you haven't told me?" She pressed, hoping that there was a simple answer, and hopefully a cure, for these symptoms. Sara shook her head slowly, her eyes opening and closing sleepily. Catherine was just about to plead with her to stay awake when she heard the front door open and slam closed before a rather pissed off nurse appeared in the doorway.

"Cathy. A moment of your time please." Nancy announced, giving Sara a once over. Cath patted Sara's leg and stood up, following her sister into the hallway. "What the hell are you doing?" The younger sister hissed when they were out of earshot.

"Following my gut." Cath answered weakly, shrugging.

"So let me get this right; she collapsed at work, she has a fever of over one hundred and she had a seizure in the ER." Nancy rattled off. "And you, the responsible friend in this equation, smuggled her out of the hospital! And you think this is okay?" She barked. "Have you gone mad?" Catherine shushed her, glancing back through the lounge door.

"Don't shush me! You are insane; she could be seriously ill Cath. What were you thinking?"

"I know, okay, I didn't plan this. But she was so scared Nance, she begged me to get her out of there. I couldn't just leave her." She looked at Nancy sadly and the young woman softened.

"What do you need me for?" She asked eventually.

"Well, you're a nurse. You know, I thought maybe you could check her over."

"I'm not a doctor Cath, I can't diagnose her."

"I know, I just want to know whether I need to drag her ass back to the hospital or not." Nancy was not convinced that she could help, but nodded all the same and they made their way back into the living room. Sara warily watched Nancy approach, leaning away when the blonde tried to reach out to her. Cath appeared at her other side and held her by the shoulders. "Honey, you remember my sister Nancy?" She said softly. "She's just going to check you over. It's okay." Sara continued to try and pull away, insisting that she was fine, so Cath held her hand up to Nancy, warning her not to touch, and bent down in front of Sara. "Babe, if you don't let her do this you're going back to hospital." She said, gently but firmly. Sara stared at her for a moment, but eventually relented and dropped her hands in defeat. Cath nodded at her sister and sat on the arm of the couch, wrapping an arm around Sara tightly. Nancy stepped closer to the shaky brunette and carefully began a brief examination of her. All the while Nancy checked her over, Sara remained tense and trembling, and never once took her eyes off of the nurse. Nancy tried to be as gentle as she could, sensing immediately that Sara did not like to be touched.

X x x

After a few minutes Nancy stood up straight and gestured for Catherine to follow her, stroking Sara's hair affectionately on her way past. Cath smiled at Sara and followed her sister back into the hall.

"Well?" She asked eagerly.

"Well, if you want my amateur opinion: she's got a fever." Cath rolled her eyes.

"I figured that much out! Why?" She pushed, placing her hands on her hips. Nancy shrugged.

"Exhaustion, dehydration, malnutrition..." she listed, until Cath held up her hands to stop her.

"Whoa, whoa, wait, what? I mean, I know Sara's not exactly the most well rested of people and her diet sucks, but she knows when she's reached her limits. You really think...?" She asked, struggling to get her head around this.

"She's, what, 28, 29 years old?"

"31." Cath clarified.

"Whatever. Point is, if she wasn't so tense she'd be falling over and I could fit my hands around her waist if I tried. When was the last time that girl ate?" She asked incredulous. Cath shrugged and sighed.

"God knows. So, if I feed her she'll be okay?" She asked.

"It's not that simple, but yeah. With a few days rest she should be fine. If her fevers not any better in a day or two she needs to go back to hospital." Nancy explained. Cath nodded and sighed with relief.

"Will do. Look, thank you for doing this. I really appreciate it." Cath said, placing a hand on her sister's arm. Nancy laughed softly.

"Hey no problem. Can't have you killing your colleagues with kindness now can I?" She joked. "Seriously though Cathy, keep a close eye on her. Her fever is very high and if she overheats she will pass out again."

"Don't worry. I won't let her out of my sight." Cath said, shooting a glance over her shoulder at her friend.

"And hey, I know that you know her a lot better than I do, but something has certainly got her spooked and if you really want to help her you need to get her to open up." Nancy said. Cath nodded sadly.

"Easier said than done I'm afraid." She sighed. "Hey, could I ask you another, tiny little favour?" She asked sweetly.

"You want me to pick up Lindsey." Nancy guessed.

"No, well yes but that's not what I was going to ask. Could you stay here with her for a while? I'm gonna go to her apartment and pick up a few things for her, but I can't leave her alone. I'll only be an hour, maybe two." Nancy gave her an annoyed look that Catherine recognised straight away. She smiled and pecked a kiss on her sister's cheek. "You're a star Nance."

**x x x x**

**Keep reviewing guys, makes me smile :) Oh, and free cyber muffins for anyone who can guess the theme of my chapter titles xox**


	5. I'm trouble, i got trouble in my town

**As always, thanks for the reviews :)**

**x x x x**

After sweet-talking Sara's landlord, an older guy called Gus wearing a Hells Angels jacket, into giving her the spare key, Catherine let herself into her colleague's apartment. The crimson walls and dark wood floorboards were warm and inviting, and very Sara. Cath was there for one purpose, to pack a couple of bags of clothes and bare essentials that Sara would need for staying with Catherine. However, that didn't mean that she couldn't get a feel for the place while she was there. Oh, who was she kidding, she was there to snoop.

She wandered around the small lounge and kitchenette, admiring the paintings on the walls and the extensive music collection on the shelves. Against the bookshelf there were two guitars; one electric one acoustic. She checked the fridge, and unsurprisingly found very little except water and fruit. Rolling her eyes she made a mental note to have a serious discussion with the young woman about her eating habits at some point.

Entering the bedroom, she was surprised to notice several candles dotted around the room and silk sheets on the bed. "Quite the romantic." She commented. Finding a decent sized bag under the bed she began opening drawers and the wardrobe and piling clothes in. Next, she made her way to the bathroom and collected up anything she thought Sara might need. Again unsurprisingly, she noticed that every item specified that it was not tested on animals.

With everything she needed packed, Cath locked up the apartment again, slipping the key into her pocket, and thanked Gus on her way out. He promised to forward her mail and asked her to take good care of 'Trouble'.

X x x

Arriving back, Catherine was pleased to find Sara curled up asleep on the couch, and Nancy sat nearby reading.

"Hey Nance, how's she been?" She asked, placing the bag by the stairs.

"Quiet." Nancy answered, not tearing her eyes away from the page. Cath leant over the back of the couch and stroked Sara's forehead, just to check her fever, but the contact caused the brunette to stir. She turned to look over her shoulder and smiled up sleepily at Catherine.

"We have beds here you know." Cath joked, stroking Sara's hair softly. The young CSI just blinked slowly, adjusting to the light in the room. Nancy stood up and stretched, tossing the book on the coffee table.

"Well, I'd better go and take the kids to school. I'll drop Lindsey off later." She said, before turning her attention to Sara. "And you look after yourself okay." She tapped Sara's forehead softly. The brunette just nodded with her eyes closed, not really listening. Nancy smiled at her and rubbed her arm as she passed. Catherine walked her to the door and thanked her again for her help.

"Hey, just so you know, she had a nightmare while you were out." Nancy told her, once out of earshot. Catherine raised an eyebrow.

"Another one? She had one at the hospital, too." she sighed. This was looking like something else she was going to have to talk to Sara about.

"Yeah, she calmed down quick enough, never woke up. I just thought I should mention it." The sisters parted with a hug and Cath picked the bag up off the floor and went to take it to the guest room, but stopped at the bottom of the stairs to shoot a worried glance in Sara's direction.

X x x

As soon as she heard the door close and footsteps going upstairs, Sara sat up slowly, taking the opportunity to look around the room. She had never been in Catherine's house before. It was nice; the decorating was light, yet intricate. A photo on the mantel piece caught her attention and she stood up on unsteady feet to look at it better. It was of the whole team at a Christmas party a year ago. Sara was stood between Catherine and Nick and Cath was leaning heavily against Sara, her elbow resting on the younger woman's shoulder and a lazy smile on her face. "Too much wine." The voice made her jump and she turned around to find Catherine lingering behind her.

"What?" Sara asked eloquently.

"That night...I had too much wine." She elaborated. "Couldn't stand up the next morning without the room spinning." She chuckled at the memory. They were interrupted by the phone ringing. Catherine took Sara's arm, guiding her back to the couch before answering. After all, the last thing she needed was Sara collapsing while she was dealing with telemarketers.

"Hello..." she answered, and her face changed immediately to one of horror. "Oh my God." She groaned. Sara stared up at her curiously as Cath gave her a bashful look. "Gil, Gil. Its okay, she's fine. She's with me." Understanding now, Sara chuckled quietly while Cath continued to try and calm him down. "I brought her home...Grissom she's fine. Nancy's checked her over...No, she's just got a fever...Well she'll stay here with me for a while...yes I am quite capable of looking after her thank you Gilbert!" She replied indignantly before putting the phone down. She ran a hand through her hair and smiled tightly. "Sometimes that man, I swear..." she stopped and sighed. "C'mon." She breathed, taking Sara's hand and leading her upstairs to the spare bedroom. She had made the bed up already and laid out some clothes for Sara to change into. "Here, not that that hospital gown isn't very attractive but I thought you might be more comfortable in these." She joked. Sara sat on the bed and took them gratefully. She slipped off the coat she was still wearing, before pausing and giving Catherine a strange look, which the blonde returned, until she realised what Sara was hinting at. "You do know that we share a locker room, I've seen you undress before." She pointed out, turning her back and rolling her eyes.

"Not the same." Sara commented, then paused. "When?" Cath laughed.

"Hey, just because you didn't see me does not mean I wasn't there." She remarked, wandering over to the window. "And by the way, as cute as that tattoo on your butt is, I like the fairy the best." The older woman shot over her shoulder with a sly grin. Sara's jaw dropped and she stuttered a bit, but not knowing what to say she shut up. Meanwhile she was struggling to untie her gown at the back of her neck so Catherine, who had been surreptitiously watching her from the corner of her eye, walked over and stilled Sara's fingers, unfastening the garment for her and letting it slide down her shoulders. She could feel Sara tense beneath her touch, but she didn't remove her hands, instead sliding them gently down her back, letting her fingertips graze the sides of her stomach. The brunette's skin was practically on fire.

"It's not a fairy. It's a guardian angel." Sara murmured, relenting and letting Catherine help her into a t-shirt. Cath smiled and brushed her fingers lightly across the little tattoo on the back of Sara's left shoulder, feeling a strange tingle run down her spine at initiating the intimate gesture.

"Cute." She commented. She was sure she could see Sara blush, but did not call her on it. Instead she left to her to continue getting dressed in private on the pretence of getting her a glass of water.

Returning upstairs, she found her now dressed colleague still sat on the bed, her eyes opening and closing sleepily. Cath placed the glass of water on the bedside table and practically tucked her colleague into bed and sat down next to her. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the tablets the doctor had given her. Sara's eyes widened and she shook her head.

"Please Sara, just take one. They won't hurt you." Cath pleaded, but Sara refused point blank to budge. Giving up for the time being, Catherine placed them on the bedside table next to the glass and brushed Sara's cheek with her fingertips. "This isn't over Sidle." She whispered, then placed a light kiss on her forehead and brushed her hair away softly. "Sleep tight sweetie."

Catherine was just at the door when she turned and threw a final comment over her shoulder. "Oh, and Gus hopes you feel better soon...Trouble."

"Whatever he's said about me he's lying." Sara called out lazily to Catherine's retreating form, before her eyes finally drifted closed.


	6. Sweet dreams are made of these

Cath cleaned up a little downstairs, tidied Lindsey's room and changed into her sleepwear. She sat on the edge of her bed and sighed. Her head was so messed up right now; in twelve hours she had learnt more about her young colleague then she had in 4 years. Clearly Sara was not taking care of herself, and that was a key issue that needed to be fixed. But what of these nightmares? Sara had never mentioned having trouble sleeping, and Cath had not found any sleeping tablets in her apartment. Maybe it was fever induced, who knew? Either way, it could wait. Right now, Catherine's main priority was to get Sara better.

Unable to resist, Cath got up and padded down the hall, sneaking a peak at Sara's sleeping form. She seemed peaceful enough and, not wanting to wake her, Cath didn't approach; instead she left the door slightly ajar and returned to her own room.

Climbing into bed, Cath couldn't help but wonder why she felt so overprotective of the young brunette. She cared about her as much as she did the guys, but she also had this undying urge to look after her, to hold her, even. She knew that many people at the lab were under the impression that they were far from friends, but that was not true. Granted Sara could wind her up sometimes, though she knew she didn't really mean to. Sara was passionate about her job, it was one of her best traits, but sometimes it could turn her into a bit of a bulldog when she wanted something. Cath truly admired Sara, but something about the girl frustrated her. Sara was not scared of Catherine, like most people were, and would stand up to her. Because of that, and the general air of mystery surrounding the brunette, she could not read the girl at all. It was impossible to figure out what she was feeling or thinking, and that bugged Catherine.

But the worst was, and Cath would never admit this out loud, Sara could get under her skin like no one else. And that is what confused Catherine the most. Something as simple as a word, or even a look, and Sara could do what no one else could. She could get Catherine all hot and bothered about something or nothing from twenty feet away. And that was impressive.

And a little bit scary.

X x x

Catherine awoke to a startling scream. Bolting out of bed she followed the sound down the hall and into the spare room, where Sara was curled up half way down the bed whimpering. Her eyes were tightly closed and she was fisting the sheet beneath her. The blankets were in a heap on the floor where she had kicked them off. Catherine rushed over and knelt down next to the bed, stroking her cheek lightly.

"Sara, baby wake up." She cooed softly. Sara turned her face away and continued to struggle so Cath sat on the edge of the bed and placed one hand on Sara's back, rubbing comforting circles, and stroked her hair with the other hand. Sara's whole body was covered in a light sheen of sweat and she was making small whimpering cries. To Catherine's surprise she saw a few tears trickling down Sara's pale face. She continued to whisper comforts to her, the words falling out of her mouth naturally. "Shush, it's okay darling, you're okay honey."

When nothing seemed to be calming her down she moved her grip up to Sara's shoulders and gently rolled her onto her back. Despite Sara's attempts to curl up again, Cath held her there, gently rubbing her chest with her fingers until Sara's breathing calmed down. Which it did, eventually.

Once the woman had settled down, Catherine sat back against the headboard, staring at her young counterpart. She was torn; wake Sara up and ask her what was going on, or leave her to get some much needed rest and talk about it later. Deciding that Sara's health was more important, Cath chose to let her sleep. But, now she was faced with another dilemma: go back to bed, or stay here with Sara? She knew that she couldn't protect Sara from bad dreams, but she also couldn't face leaving her alone again. So, Cath gently moved Sara up the bed so her head was back on the pillow, and gathered the blanket off the floor, draping it loosely over her friend. Climbing in next to her, Catherine wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her close. Sara shuffled a little in her sleep, and ended up nestled into Catherine's side, her head tucked comfortably into the crook of her neck and one hand resting on her chest. Feeling her friend's hand over her heart, their bodies pressed tightly together, sent tingles down the blonde's spine. Catherine held her close with an arm around her back, her hand resting on her hip. Her other hand ran repetitive strokes through chestnut tresses.

She was sure that, if awake, Sara would be uncomfortable with this arrangement, but she was even more sure that they both needed the contact or neither of them was going to get any sleep.

As she felt Sara's chest rising and falling against her own, she placed a kiss on her head. "Sweet dreams sweetheart."

**x x x x**

**As always, thank you for reading and reviewing xox**


	7. With one look i ignite a blaze

Sara awoke in a strange bed, in a strange room. A familiar scent, one she couldn't quite put her finger on, surrounded her. Blinking her eyes open, it took a moment for her vision to focus. And when it did she found two bright blue eyes staring back at her. She leapt upright like a shot.

"Hi Sara." The little voice sang with a grin.

"Lindsey, hey." Sara gasped, getting her breath back from her surprise awakening. The tiny blonde was on her knees on the bed, an inch away from her face. Before she could say anything else the door opened.

"Good morning sunshine." A warm voice announced. "Or should I say good afternoon." Cath wandered in and placed a mug of coffee next to the bed. "Lindsey, didn't I tell you not to wake Sara." She scolded lightly and Linds looked abashed, but Sara shook her head with a small smile.  
"It's ok Cat. It just took me by surprise I'm not used to being watched in my sleep." She tousled Lindsey's hair affectionately, causing the little girl to smile brightly.

"Go get started on your homework honey." Cath instructed, so she clambered off the bed and scuttled out, leaving the women alone. Sara stared at her in confusion, until the memory of yesterday filtered through the fog in her mind. Ignoring Sara's expression, somewhere between embarrassed and bashful, Cath sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on her forehead. "Hmm, you feel a bit better now." She said, a soft smile gracing her lips. Sara looked down and played with the bed sheet nervously. She looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't quite find the words. Catherine scrutinised her for a moment, but deciding that now was not the time to talk, patted her leg softly. "C'mon. I have it on good word that you need feeding."

"Nancy." Sara rolled her eyes. "Thanks, but I'm not really hungry." Sara declined, but Cath didn't listen.

"I wasn't asking Sidle." She said bluntly. "You and I need to have a little chat about your eating habits Missy." She said with a raised eyebrow, Judging by her expression Sara had taken offence at that. "Don't give me that look; I have seen the contents of your fridge." Cath commented pointedly. Sara looked slightly embarrassed and shrugged, a small smile twitching at her lips. "Come on." Catherine tapped her nose lightly, causing Sara to scrunch it up, which looked so cute that she had to laugh.

X x x

Once she had managed to coax Sara downstairs, Catherine pulled out a kitchen chair for her and placed a plate of food that she had already prepared on the table. "Cath you really didn't have to go to any trouble. I'm not that hungry." Sara said, remaining stood and shuffling her feet nervously. Cath gave her a stern look.

"You, Miss Sidle, need to put on some weight. Now sit your butt down and eat." The blonde forced her into a chair. She left for a few minutes and returned with Lindsey in tow. The little girl clambered onto a chair next to Sara and began eating and chattering away happily, while Cath sat on the other side of her, opposite Sara. They ate and chatted for a while. Well, Catherine and Lindsey ate; Sara pushed food around her plate and nibbled a little, which was something that did not go unnoticed by the older woman. Cath moved to sit in the chair next to Sara, pulling it as close as possible, and took the fork out of the bemused brunette's hand. She scooped some food up and held it out to Sara, who continued to stare at her in bewilderment. Cath shrugged. "I thought maybe you were having trouble finding your mouth." She half smiled. Sara chuckled shyly and went to take her fork back but Cath moved it away. "Are you going to eat?" She asked, keeping it out of reach until Sara relented and nodded. "Good girl" Cath praised, handing the utensil back. A giggle brought their attention back to Lindsey, who was gazing at them.

"Do you have to be Sara's mommy too now?" The little girl asked in her innocent voice. Sara nearly choked on her drink while Catherine just laughed and fixed her colleague with a coy grin.

"Hmmm, I don't know Sara, do I?" She asked sweetly. Sara turned beetroot and looked like she wanted the floor to open up beneath her right now as she spluttered to regain her breathing. Lindsey had gone back to her breakfast but continued to chatter away merrily, which was doing nothing to curb Sara's embarrassment.

"Yep. Mommy will look after you. She's really good at being a mommy." Sara's cheeks were turning more and more pink by the minute while Catherine seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself. She nudged Sara playfully and smiled cheekily.

"Yeah Sar, I'll look after you. So do as you're told or I'll have to put you on the naughty step."

X x x

After Sara's cheeks had returned to their normal colour and most of her breakfast had been eaten, Catherine left her and Lindsey alone while she tidied the bedrooms. When she returned to the kitchen she was surprised to see Sara stood in front of the sink, while Lindsey was happily colouring at the kitchen table.

"Oi, I thought I told you to stay put." She barked, taking the dishes off of her.

"Catherine, I'm fine really." Sara insisted, as Catherine whipped the dishtowel out of her hands.

"Sit down Sara, I've told you you're here to rest, not work." The blonde said adamantly.

"But I want to help." Sara whined, taking the towel back.

"No." Cath responded, snatching it back. Lindsey laughed again and they both turned to her briefly.

"I just want to help Catherine." Sara picked up another towel that was lying next to her.

"Absolutely not. Now sit down or I'll handcuff you to the chair." Cath insisted, taking this dishtowel back once again and lightly whipping Sara's stomach with it. Sara stuck her tongue out playfully and sat down reluctantly.

X x x

With the dishes done, Cath told Lindsey to go put her colouring upstairs and get into her pyjamas, as by this time it was gone 7. Alone, Cath handed Sara a mug of tea and sat down next to her. She was trying to get the brunette to cut down on her coffee, but she had a feeling that the young woman was onto her, judging by the way she examined the contents of the cup suspiciously.

"So...Trouble? Do I want to ask?" Sara laughed and shook her head, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

"It's just a nickname; don't read too much into it. It's kind of followed me through life really." Cath chuckled.

"Yeah I'll bet." She remarked, nudging her colleague slightly with a grin. They lapsed into silence as Sara looked around the room, almost as if she was trying to memorise every little detail. Cath, meanwhile was trying to figure out how to broach the subject that needed discussing. Deciding that she had to start somewhere, she opened her mouth.

"Sara, honey can I talk to you about something." She asked, but before Sara could answer Lindsey bulleted through the door.

"Mommy, can we watch a movie?" She asked sweetly, holding up two DVDs in her small hands. Catherine glanced at Sara who shrugged and smiled.

"Sure sweetie, you go decide which you want." She skipped back out, and Sara looked back at Cath.

"What did you want to talk about?" She asked, sipping her drink. Cath debated whether to say it, but in the end shook her head.

"Forget it, it can wait. Come on," she offered her hand to Sara, who accepted and they wandered through into the lounge, where Lindsey was sat in a self-made fort of DVDs, trying to decide which to watch with great concentration.

X x x

Apparently what Lindsey wanted was Disney. So, they got the popcorn and the movie was in and ready to go. Cath sat down next to Sara, close but not too close to impose on her personal space. However, evidently it was too close for Lindsey, who looked at the two women carefully and promptly clambered onto the couch, settling herself between the two of them. Catherine looked down at her daughter, who shuffled until she was comfortable, and then at Sara, who chuckled softly at the little girl and rolled her eyes.

By eight o'clock the three of them were curled up on the couch as the opening titles rolled. By twenty past nine Lindsey was fast asleep, coiled comfortably between the two women. Cath glanced down at her sleeping daughter and smiled before looking up at Sara, whose eyes were opening and closing slowly. Cath removed her arm from under Lindsey and tapped Sara lightly.

"Bed time." She whispered. Sara nodded. Cath clicked off the TV using the remote and shifted slightly to look at her companion better. In the dim light filtering through the curtains Sara's dark hair shimmered and her face looked ghostly pale. Sara lifted her eyes, suddenly dark as night, slowly until they met Catherine's, and a shiver ran down her spine. Those midnight black orbs seemed to burn right through her, almost drawing her inside. The blonde bit her lip nervously and continued to stare into Sara's eyes, unable to tear her gaze away. Both of them could feel how, seemingly in an instant, the mood had changed. Something had shifted between them. Within them. In the silence, and the darkness there was a strange electricity in the room that hadn't been there before, holding them in this exhilarating current. A small leg stretched out and landed squarely in Sara's stomach, forcing both women to break their gaze, turning to the snoozing seven year old. Cath pulled Lindsey into her arms and lifted her up carefully, so as not to wake her. "I'll just put her to bed." She said, her voice hoarse and weak. Alone, Sara sat up and stretched, running a hand through her hair and letting out a shaky breath, not entirely sure what had just happened.

X x x

When Catherine came back downstairs, Sara was tidying the lounge. Cath put a hand on her arm, stopping her motions. "It's okay. I'll sort it out in the morning." She said quietly and this time Sara didn't argue. The blonde kept her eyes averted, avoiding meeting the brunette's gaze.

"If you're sure. I might just head to bed." Sara said. Cath nodded and, after a moment, released Sara's arm. The brunette started up the stairs, but was held back by Catherine's voice.

"Sara ..." She started to say something, but cowardice took over. "Sleep well honey." She finished softly. Sara nodded and disappeared upstairs. As soon as she heard the guest room door click shut she let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding. What had that been about?

Sure, Catherine had noticed her colleagues 'like that' before, including Sara. She was an attractive woman, there was no denying that. But, tonight, that was different. She had gotten lost in Sara's mysterious eyes, and a part of her had been ... scared? But another part had been excited. She found herself wanting to know more, wanting to look deeper. But that was not what was scaring her. She had never felt such a ... connection before. A sudden, sharp electric shot had run through her whole system, and frozen them in this kind of time slip. Never in her life had someone had such a profound effect on her. No one had ever taken her breath away. And tonight Sara Sidle had done it in one look.


	8. If life was a movie and love was a song

**Hope y'all are enjoying it so far. This one might be a little slow but be patient, I'm building to something. Keep reviewing guys and gals x**

**x x x x**

Catherine awoke early the next morning, after a difficult night's sleep. She had gotten up no less than three times to check on Sara, who thankfully slept relatively peacefully. The rest of the night had been spent figuring out how to talk to Sara about her problems, and trying to get her head around the strange moment last night. And the conclusion she had come to ... need more time.

Climbing out of bed, she shuffled down the hall, checking on Lindsey who was sound asleep, and creeping downstairs quietly so as not to wake Sara. However, apparently she didn't need to worry about that, because there was the object of her concern sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee.

"Hey." She said in surprise. Sara jumped and turned in her seat, offering a small smile. "What are you doing up?" Cath asked, repeating the now familiar act of checking Sara's temperature, and found it about the same as yesterday. And she still looked pale. Slightly disappointed, she sat down opposite her friend. Sara shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep." She answered bluntly. She started to raise her mug to her lips when Catherine took it from her hands and walked over to the sink with it. Sara watched her pour the contents down the drain in dismay. A glass of orange juice was placed in front of her in replacement and Cath returned to her seat opposite, without uttering a word.

"Well, actually I wanted to talk to you about that." The blonde started, but she was cut off by a sleepy voice.

"Mommy?" Lindsey questioned rubbing her eyes tiredly. Cath stood up and lifted her daughter up onto her hip.

"What's wrong baby?"

"Whys everyone up?" She asked, reaching a tiny hand down to Sara, who took it uncertainly.

"Sara and I just wanted to have a chat." Cath said, brushing a stray strand of blonde hair behind the little girl's ear. You hungry?" Lindsey nodded so Cath placed her down in a chair and started making breakfast. Sara and Lindsey chatted amiably until Catherine placed the plates in front of them and sat down to join them. Sara was stunned watching Lindsey, who had stopped talking and was wolfing her breakfast down like a ... a wolf. Catherine, however, was completely oblivious. She was too busy staring at Sara, lost in her own thoughts.

Sara was beautiful, that much was obvious, but there was something else, something that Catherine had never noticed before. It was difficult to put a name to it though, since it was more the little things than one major thing. It was the way her hair shimmered, and the way she could run her hand through it a million times and it would still fall back into curls around her face. It's that stubborn strand that will forever hang in her eyes, no matter how many times she tucks it behind her ear. It's the way her legs go on for days and her skin, so soft, just screams at you to touch it. It's the way she gets this shy look, and her cheeks turn ever so slightly pink when she's embarrassed, and the look she gets when she's concentrating, so passionate. It's that little smile she gets. But mostly it's her eyes. The mystery behind them, like a swirling mist, and the way they dance when she laughs. The way they change colours; sometimes a light haze in the light, sometimes green when she gets this playful glint in them. And sometimes a deep chocolate brown, almost black ... like they were last night when she...

"Cath?" Sara's voice snapped her back, and she blushed when she realised that she had been staring at her friend for several minutes. No, not staring. Ogling.

Sara had noticed Catherine watching her and begun to feel very uncomfortable under her scrutiny. Cath cleared her throat and turned to Lindsey, who was watching the adults with a puzzled expression.

"Come on baby, let's get you dressed." She said, slightly flustered at being caught out, and took her little girl by the hand to lead her upstairs, leaving behind a very confused brunette.

X x x

After Lindsey was dressed and dropped off at school, Catherine returned briefly, just to check that Sara was okay, before leaving to run some errands. It was nothing important really; dry cleaning, grocery shopping, that sort of thing, nothing that couldn't wait. It was not so much a necessity as an excuse to get out of the house for a while. Yes, she felt guilty for leaving Sara alone, especially after she swore that she wasn't going to let her out of her sight, but she also needed some time to figure out what had happened last night. And she couldn't do that sitting next to the brunette. She had spent many hours with Sara at work, seen her at her best and worst, had seen her getting undressed for Christ's sake. And yet she had never had feelings for her before. In that moment, something had changed. She had seen Sara differently, almost like she had seen something else in her, something she couldn't put a name to.

Whilst aimlessly wandering the aisles of the grocery store, she let these thoughts run rampant her mind, trying desperately to find an explanation. Eventually, after exhausting the shop and still managing to forget the bread, she came to the conclusion that it meant nothing.

She and Sara were friends, nothing more. The silence, and the darkness had created a mood that had gotten to them both, and they had been caught up in the moment. Taking care of Sara and worrying about her had stirred many maternal feelings for the brunette that had gotten mixed up with some other feelings of friendship and ...what? Lust, maybe. After all, it was a long time since Cath had shared a bed with anyone; her libido was running wild right now. That explains it, it was merely a case of bad timing, and mixed feelings getting confused. That was all.

Right?

X x x

Returning home slightly more certain of herself than she had been that morning, Catherine found Sara curled up on the couch with a book.

"Hey, how're you feeling?" Cath asked, dropping her bags in the kitchen and sitting next to Sara, but not too close. Sara shrugged, never taking her eyes off the page. Cath gave her a once over; her pale skin had a little more colour to it now, and she looked less drowsy than she had. She was evidently on the mend. Saying that, Cath knew there were still a few things that need discussing. She debated doing it now, but decided it could wait a little longer. Instead, there was something else she needed to discuss. Gently prising the book out of Sara's hands, Cath got her full attention. "Listen, I was thinking, if you're feeling better, I could go back to work tonight, just for a few hours? Only if you're feeling okay though, if you're not I'll stay home." Sara shook her head.

"I'll be fine. I could probably ..."

"No." Catherine cut her off. Sara raised an eyebrow.

"You don't know what I was going to say." She pointed out.

"You are not going home and you're not going to work." Cath insisted. Sara's eyes widened briefly when she realised Cath did know what she was going to say, but the surprise passed and she sat forward.

"I'm fine Cat, I feel much better."

"I don't care. You are not leaving here until I know you are better and you are certainly not going back to work. In case you've forgotten Miss Sidle, it was only two nights ago that you had a seizure in the ER. You have at least one week off and you are going to use it." Sara picked up on the tone of Cath's voice, the one which meant it was pointless attempting to argue, so she changed tack.

"So, you're going back tonight? Have you spoken to Grissom, since you slammed the phone down on him?" Cath chuckled softly.

"Yeah, he called yesterday afternoon, right after Nancy dropped Lindsey off. He said I've got off as much time as I need to take care of you, so if you want me to stay it's not a problem."

"It's fine, I'll be fine." Catherine gave her a dubious look so Sara raised her hand in a sort of salute. "Scouts honour." She promised, which made Cath laugh.

"You don't have the discipline to be a scout, missy."

X x x

Eventually Sara persuaded Catherine to go to work, after she had given her Nancy's number and made her swear to call if she needed anything at all.

Alone, Sara and Lindsey found themselves sitting in the lounge. Sara was not familiar with taking care of a seven year old, and this was something she had not anticipated when shooing Cath out of the door. They remained in disjointed conversation for few minutes, and Sara felt like she couldn't be more uncomfortable than she was right now. However, apparently she was wrong.

"When are you going home?" Lindsey asked, scowling up at Sara. The brunette shook her head.

"I don't know. Soon, I promise." To Sara's surprise Lindsey looked down sadly.

"You don't have to go." Evidently she had misunderstood that question then. Sara smiled softy.

"I can't stay here forever; I have to go home sometime." She explained. Lindsey looked at her, a familiar glint in her sparkling blue eyes.

"Mommy wants you to stay." She said. Sara's eyes widened.

"She does?" She asked instinctively.

"Yep. She said so."

"What did she say exactly?" Sara asked slowly, her curiosity peaked.

X x x

_Last night:_

_Catherine carried Lindsey upstairs and tucked her in, before sitting on the edge of her daughter's bed. _

"_My God, what's wrong with me?" She muttered to herself. "This can't be happening, I cannot be..." she let the sentence hang, running a hand through her tresses. "Oh Sara Sidle what do you do to me? Don't leave me like this?" She groaned. After a few minutes she stood up, kissed the 'sleeping' Lindsey goodnight and slipped out quietly. _

X x x

"She...she said that?" Sara asked. A million thoughts ran through her head.

"You're really pretty." Lindsey announced, interrupting her musings. Lindsey had crawled along the couch until she was practically sitting on Sara's lap. The brunette smiled shyly, unsure of what to say. "Do you wear make up?" The little girl asked.

"Sometimes." Sara replied with a small smile. She had a feeling she knew where this was going.

And sure enough a matter of minutes later she was sat on the living room floor with some of Catherine's make up – the cheap stuff that she let Lindsey play with – pampering the child. Lindsey clearly loved the attention and, surprising even herself, Sara found that she was enjoying it too. Conversation came naturally between them, as Sara answered the girl's questions and told her stories of various music bands and old movies.


	9. You found me when noone else was looking

Sara started awake at the loud bang. Catherine stormed in, hurled her bag at the floor and threw herself onto the couch next to the girl with a huff. Sara sat up, staring at her in mild shock from the loud entrance.

"Whatever the door said, I'm sure it didn't mean it that way." She joked, but regretted it due to the glare Cath sent her. Just as she thought she was going to get slapped, Cath sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Tough day?" Sara guessed. Cath nodded slowly.

"Could say that." When she didn't speak again Sara gave her a look urging her to continue. "13 year old girl was killed. I had words with the mother; she didn't think I understood because she didn't think I had kids. I set her straight. She, ah, she ... criticised my lifestyle. Insinuated that I don't know my daughter." Cath explained sadly. Sara shuffled to a more upright position and moved closer, cautiously wrapping an arm around Cath's shoulders. She was not accustomed to being physical with her friends, but it seemed like the right thing to do, and to her surprise Catherine responded by leaning into the embrace, resting her head against her shoulder. "I guess it just hurt to hear a few home truths." She sighed. Sara looked at her.

"Hey, don't let her get to you. You are a great mom." Sara assured her, but Cath didn't look convinced. "Hey, I've spent all night listening to your daughter babbling about you, so don't tell me you are a bad mother." The comment elicited a small smile from Catherine. Sara continued.

"Hell, when I was growing up I would have given anything for someone like you. You're caring, and understanding, and strong. You're easy to talk to, and you don't fly off the handle." She listed. "In the children's homes, you're the kind of person we dreamed about." She finished quietly. Catherine watched her intently; the passion with which she spoke, the truth in her words.

To the surprise of both, Catherine leant in and met Sara's lips in a sweet kiss. Caught up in the shock of the moment, Sara returned the kiss until her mouth caught up with her head and she pulled back. Catherine's cheeks flushed pink and she was stuttering to explain, but Sara was on her feet before she had the chance. Catherine, temporarily stunned, remained where she was, sat with her mouth hanging open. After a moment she leapt to her feet and followed Sara to the door, but it was too late, the brunette had disappeared into the early morning mist.

X x x

This was bad. This was really, really bad. After Sara had left Catherine had panicked, and when she panicked she paced. And that is what she was doing now. Pacing. After fifteen minutes of debating whether or not to go and find Sara, Cath had called her sister.

"You did what?" Nancy asked in shock when she arrived on Catherine's doorstep ten minutes later. Cath just shook her head. "You...you, you kissed her?" Nancy stuttered, unable to get her head around this.

"I know. This wasn't exactly planned. It just sort of happened." Cath explained miserably.

"Well, these things don't just happen for no reason Cathy. Are you saying there was nothing before this, no flirting, no inclination that you might...?" She trailed off. Cath's expression must have given her away, because Nancy prodded her side. "Cathy, what aren't you telling me?" She asked in a parental voice.

"Well, recently I've felt... Last night, we had a ... a moment. It was nothing, it was just ... strange." She sighed. "I don't know how I feel about her anymore Nance." The younger woman rubbed her sister's back comfortingly.

"Well you need to figure it out, and soon." She said. "You need to go find her Catherine." Cath sighed.

"I don't know what to say to her."

"That doesn't matter. She's still sick Cathy, and she's out there somewhere alone. She needs you. Something could happen to her out there." Nancy told her. Catherine nodded slowly, that thought had been lingering in the back of her mind but she'd been trying not to dwell on what could happen. She got to her feet and turned to her sister, about to speak but Nancy cut her off. "I'll look after Lindsey. Go find her." Cath thanked her over her shoulder, already making her way to the door.

X x x

Not entirely sure where to look for Sara, Catherine had followed her instinct and ended up here, outside Sara's apartment. And apparently her instinct was as good as ever, because there was Sara, sat on the floor outside her apartment door, with her legs stretched across the hallway and her eyes closed.

"How'd you find me?" she asked, alerting Cath to the fact that she was aware of her presence.

"Followed a hunch. Something wrong with your door?" Cath asked nervously with a half smile.

"It's locked." She mumbled. Cath stepped over her legs and pulled the spare key Gus had given her out of her coat pocket, unlocking the door. She held out a hand to the surprised brunette, who looked at her suspiciously for a moment before accepting and letting Cath help her to her feet.


	10. Kiss me softly as i wake to truth

**Thank you as always for the reviews. I apologise if this chapter is a little strange, I've been reading Stephen King; he brings out my dark side to play :) Anyways, enjoy**

**x x x x**

"I know I probably took you by surprise, I'm sorry. But running off like that was a stupid stunt to pull, you're still sick honey." Catherine said. Once inside they had moved to the living room area, the main part of the small apartment, Cath had sat on the couch while Sara had chosen the chair next to it. "Why'd you run?" she asked, trying to sound non-accusing.

"Why'd you kiss me?" Sara asked back, ignoring the question. Catherine blushed again and looked away.

"I don't know." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair for the millionth time that morning. 'What the hell', she thought, 'I can't expect her to be honest with me if I can't be honest with her.'

"You can do to me in one look what no man has ever done before. You take my breath away Sara." She admitted quietly, feeling vulnerable at letting her guard down. Cath had expected that Sara would either look scared, shocked or amused. But, to her surprise, all she saw in Sara's face was a strange darkness, like the kind that you see when you look at a thundercloud. Deep and brooding.

"You don't know me Cath." Sara said quietly. Cath started to contest that but Sara's voice, cold and harsh, cut her off. "No, you don't. I'm not good for you, I'm dangerous." There was something in the way she spoke, some dark truth that stopped Catherine from arguing. Sara slowly lifted her face, her gaze fixing firmly on the other woman's. Something in her eyes, some deep-seeded fear lurking just beneath the surface of the mysterious hazel swirls, seemed to be drawing Catherine in. And for the first time she realised something, something that she had never been able to see before. Sara was scared.

"Sara, I don't really know what any of this means, but I do know that I have never felt like this about anyone before." Cath explained, holding onto Sara's stare. Sara was quiet for a moment. There was something about the brunette's demeanour that was creeping Catherine out. On the surface she was calm, eerily calm, but inside Cath could tell that she was terrified. "Talk to me sweetheart." She begged gently.

"I can't." Sara whispered.

"Sara, you can tell me anything." Cath assured her. The younger woman didn't answer, didn't say anything. She almost seemed to be studying Cath to judge for herself whether or not to trust her. Just as Cath felt like she was going to suffocate in the silence, Sara spoke; slow and evenly.

"Tell me what you know about me." Catherine scrunched up her nose slightly in confusion. However, not sure what else to do, she obeyed; searching her memory for everything she could remember.

"I know you're from California. Tamales Bay. Your parents owned a B&B by the ocean. You got a scholarship to Harvard, worked your ass off at several jobs to pay for it. Went to Berkley. Started working at the San Francisco Coroners lab before you became a CSI. You came to Vegas when Grissom asked you to." Catherine listed. "I know you're passionate, and empathic, and stubborn." She continued with a small smile. "That you have at least two tattoos." Sara's eyes had never left hers, but try as she might Catherine could not read any emotion behind them anymore. Sara had put her walls back up. "I know that you drink too much and don't sleep enough. And that sometimes you have bad dreams." For the first time she saw a flash of light through the dark fog in Sara's eyes.

"I never dream." Sara insisted, that look of fear returning. Catherine just smiled softly.

"So all the whimpering and screaming is ...?" She asked, not in a judgemental voice, just proving her point.

"Do I talk?" Sara asked cautiously.

"Sometimes, though I can never work out what you say. Sometimes you cry." Sara didn't say anything; it seemed she was lost in her own thoughts. "And I know one other thing. I know you're scared of something and you won't tell me what." Cath finished.

When Sara eventually spoke her voice was spookily quiet. "Do you think there's a murder gene?" Catherine looked at her in shock.

"No, honey I don't think that." She answered softly, fear beginning to tug at her heart now. Sara chuckled, but it was dark, empty.

"You wouldn't know that in my house. The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital." The image of Sara scared and shaking outside the emergency room flashed into Catherine's mind and suddenly things started to make sense. "I thought it was the way everybody lived." Sara continued in the same distance voice. "When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't." Finally the cold facade collapsed and Sara broke down, her breath coming out in choked sobs. Catherine moved to sit on the coffee table in front of her so she was close enough to wrap her into a tight embrace.

"Is this why you ran away from the hospital?" she asked, running a hand through Sara's silky locks. She felt Sara nod against her shoulder.

"We spent a lot of time there as kids. Broken bones, fractures, bruises. They never saw it. They just bought the lies; they never saw what was really going on. How many times does a child fall down the stairs before it stops looking like an accident?" She asked sadly. Catherine opened her mouth, but nothing came out. What could she say? Luckily she didn't have to say anything because Sara continued. "My mom tried to avoid taking us if she could. She would just give us whatever was lying around the house; painkillers, anti-depressants. Ecstasy." Catherine's breath hitched. No, surely no parent would ... all of a sudden she felt the ghost of something in her pocket, something that was actually still sitting on Sara's bedside table. Pills. No wonder Sara wouldn't take them. "My brother moved out the day he turned 16. He used to protect us when he could, without him we were lost. My father...he got worse." Sara stuttered through tears, which Catherine wiped away tenderly. "One day, mom came home early from work, she ...she snapped. She ... killed him." She was crying so hard now that she was finding it hard to breathe so Catherine placed a finger over her lips to silence her. Without letting go, she changed positions so she was now on the edge of the seat and Sara was pinned between her and the back of the chair, cradled against her chest. Cath took comfort in the feeling of warm tears soaking through her thin shirt. It meant Sara had let go.

"Why didn't you..." Cath began to ask when she felt Sara had calmed down, but Sara finished her sentence for her.

"Tell you?" She laughed that dry, cold laugh again that sent cold shivers down Catherine's spine. "Would you want to talk about it?" She asked rhetorically. Catherine rubbed her back slowly. "I used to talk with a stutter when I was a kid." She said out of the blue after a few moments silence. Catherine frowned slightly at the random comment.

"A stutter?" She asked, a small smile twitching at the thought.

"Mhmm. It used to be really bad, now it only ever comes back when I talk about ... th..that night. A..afterwards I was taken to a child shrink. They thought I was dumb because I couldn't talk about it at all." She explained. "It's hard enough to talk about s..something like that when you can't even say your own name." A lone tear rolled down her cheek and Catherine caught it with her fingertip. "I was in a few different foster homes and children's homes. Some places it was worse than others. I got bullied for it, at home and at school. Eventually I just ... stopped speaking. One day, in one of the homes, a kid got electrocuted. I called 911, and I just started talking, no stutter."

Catherine studied Sara closely for a moment. The tear treks down her cheeks reminded her of streams filtering through the woods. Her red eyes were a stark comparison to her ghost white skin. And yet, strange as it sounds, Sara had never looked more natural than she did now. There were no walls, no defensive boundaries, no mysteriousness. No secrets. This was Sara Sidle, laid bare. And Catherine could honest to God say that she had never before seen her so beautiful.

_You don't know me. _

_I'm no good for you. _

_I'm dangerous. _

The words played in her head like a rhythm. Carefully, Catherine tipped Sara's face upwards, holding it until blue eyes met hazel. "I'm not scared of you." Catherine said slowly. She watched as the words sank in, finally able to see things she never had been able to before. The way her eyes widen when she realises she's stuck. The way she bites on her bottom lip slightly when she's nervous. In fact, if you look closely you can practically see her mind working over what she has just said.

"You should be." Sara answered finally, her voice trembling. Catherine didn't answer, at least not with words. Without ever breaking eye contact, she leant in and slowly touched Sara's lips with her own. The kiss was feather-light at first, but slowly Cath began to apply more pressure, massaging the other girl's lips gently. Sara did not respond at first, and even tried to pull away, but it dawned on her that she was still trapped, and eventually she gave in and let her eyes drift shut. Sensing Sara's submission, butterflies sprang to life in Catherine's stomach. Boldly, she took Sara's lower lip between her teeth and gently sucked it, forcing Sara's lips open just enough for her to slide her tongue inside. Tentative probes turned into exploring strokes and they were soon locked in a fierce but tender clinch. They slowly pulled apart and rested their foreheads together, their breathing heavy.

"You're worth the risk."


	11. Honey, i want you

**Hi, sorry for the chapter being so short but I just had to end it there :) Hope y'all enjoy. **

**x x x x**

"Talk to me." Catherine said at last, after they had remained in silence for several minutes. Sara looked down sadly.

"It's just ... I saw what my parents were capable of, and I ..." Sara started, but Catherine placed a finger over her lips to silence her.

"You're not like them Sara. You're nothing like them."

"I could be." She whispered. "It scares me." Catherine placed a simple kiss on Sara's cheek.

"Sweetie listen to me. You are neither of your parents. You, Sara Sidle, are the sweetest, kindest most sensitive girl I know. You have dedicated your life to helping people and you put your heart and soul into every case you work. I do know you Sara, maybe better than you know yourself." Catherine assured her, her soothing voice nearly managing to convince Sara. Nearly.

"I just ... All my life I have tried to forget, and every now and then something comes back to me, and then it's like I can't stop remembering. I feel like the memories are going to drive me mad, like one day I'm just going to fall apart. And I want to make it stop but I can't, I get so angry that I can't control it that I just want to lash out, but I ... I can't. I start to lose control, and I don't know how to make it stop so I take it out on ..." Sara stopped her near-hysterical babbling mid sentence. Tears were escaping again and her breathing was coming in short sharp gasps, reminding Catherine of the scene outside the hospital. Catherine rubbed her back and brushed her hair behind her ear.

"Take it out on what?" she asked softly, stroking Sara's burning face with the back of her fingers.

"Myself." The brunette murmured quietly. Cath raised an eyebrow.

"Is this why you haven't been looking after yourself?" Sara shrugged, avoiding eye contact. Cath sighed, "Sara, honey, I know you probably feel like you don't need to but, well you do. Your health may not be important to you but it is to me. Even you have to eat and sleep, just occasionally." The blonde half-joked. "I worry about you." She continued, her features softening. "You don't have to play this superwoman act on my account." Sara smiled a little at that. "I'm serious, I see people at their worst every day. What makes you think I'm going to turn you away?" She pointed out, brushing a brunette bang out of Sara's face.

"You don't really want to see me at my worst, trust me." Sara whispered, her voice hoarse with unshed tears. Catherine didn't flinch, didn't even blink. She just smiled a sweet, honest smile.

"I already have."

X x x

"So Miss Sidle, I've put my feelings on the line, you know how I feel. Tell me, what do you want?" Cath asked, a quiet vulnerability evident in her voice. Sara barely hesitated long enough to glance up at her friend.

"I want you."


	12. I'm out of my league once again

They were silent for a moment, letting the words hang in the air above them like mistletoe, before their lips found each other again. It was a soft, sweet kiss this time. The butterflies were skipping about happily inside Catherine's tummy, making her giggle into the kiss. Sara pulled back and gave her a puzzled look, which Catherine found ever so cute. Rather than explaining, she stroked Sara's face and peppered a butterfly kiss on her lips again.

They lapsed into silence again and Sara suddenly became very aware of their closeness. Cath was still perched on the edge of the chair, with Sara trapped behind her. And yet, curiously, the strange feeling that came over her was not fear, like normal in these circumstances, it was excitement. She was still tingling from the kiss.

Sara had dated girls before, unsuccessfully – but that described her love life in general – and sure she had noticed Cath 'that way' before. I mean, who hadn't? If she was honest, Sara had dreamed of this moment since the day she laid eyes on the gorgeous strawberry blonde. But she was sure that the older woman disliked her, and even after it became apparent that that was not the case, she still knew it was not worth pursuing the crush just to be humiliated and shot down.

"What are you thinking about?" Catherine's voice broke her train of thought. Sara looked at her.

"That you're out of my league." She answered honestly. To her surprise, Cath laughed.

"Oh honey, you can't really think that?" She said, a hint of amusement in her voice. Sara just stared at her, confused. Cath lent closer, so close that Sara could feel her breath on her skin. "Baby, you're a Harvard grad and I'm an ex-stripper with an ex-drug addiction." She spelt it out and Sara's eyes widened. She was not really surprised at Cath's revelation, more at the fact that she had revealed it. The brunette opened and closed her mouth, no sound finding its way out. Cath smiled and pecked her lips again. "Trust me Sara Sidle; you are too good for me."

"You really don't know me that well." Sara said again, but there was no sadness in her voice now, and that mischievous sparkle had returned to her eyes.

"Hmm? Well I'm sure we can find a way to change that." Cath grinned, nuzzling her face affectionately. And once again, what started as a slow kiss soon turned into a passionate and desperate one. Cath placed her hands on Sara's chest, gently pushing her away. "Stop, stop honey." She said, breaking the kiss. She lent her forehead against Sara's. "We can't do this." She mumbled. However, Sara misunderstood her words, visible by the way she tensed up. Catherine watched in utter confusion as Sara got up, walked to the kitchenette and rested her hands on the breakfast bar, her back to Cath. "Sara?" The blonde asked cautiously. She got up and moved behind her, placing her hands on the girl's hips. Sara flinched.

"No. Don't ... just don't." She said, no anger in her voice, just sadness.

"Sara?" Catherine pleaded, very confused by now. "Sar honey what's wrong?" She asked desperately.

"What's wrong?" Sara repeated in disbelief. "You kiss me like that, then tell me that we can't. And you ask me what's wrong?" She didn't raise her voice, in fact it was lower than usual. And despite the situation it was kind of sexy to Catherine. When it dawned on Catherine what had happened she laughed quietly, causing Sara to turn around, a look of hurt flashing through her eyes.

"Oh, no babe. When I said we can't do this, I meant we can't ... we had to stop before we ..." Sara raised an eyebrow at the usually so eloquent Catherine Willows stumbling over her words. The older woman took a deep breath and started again. "What I meant was I think we should take this slow. Figure out what everything means, maybe go on a few dates. Then, when we're ready, and when you're better," she added pointedly, "we can ... take it to the next level." Sara's cheeks were tinted slightly pink once she realised her misunderstanding, but then so were Catherine's. Understanding now, Sara smiled, a cheeky impish smile.

"Miss Willows, are you propositioning me?"


	13. Fever this is what you do to me

Freshly brewed tea in hand, they made their way back to the couch and lapsed into an awkward silence. Sara cleared her throat.

"So ... what are we going to do about work?" She asked eventually. Catherine paused, that little problem hadn't even entered her mind yet.

"Well..." she said slowly, exhaling a deep breath. "Obviously I can't continue acting as your assistant supervisor. But, that's okay; I just won't sign off on any of your cases or write up your evaluations. I'm sure Grissom won't notice that your files find their way back onto his desk and ... what?" She asked when she noticed Sara looking at her with an expression of surprise.

"You write my evaluations?" Catherine smiled a sweet, coy smile and said nothing. "What do you say about me?" The brunette asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Ah ha, wouldn't you like to know?" she answered, tapping Sara's nose. Sara stuck out her bottom lip in a pout, causing Catherine to laugh. The sound made Sara smile, reluctantly breaking her pout, so she tossed a cushion at her new girlfriend instead. Catherine stared at her in bewilderment for a moment, like she was not sure what had just happened, before launching herself at Sara. Sara squealed with laughter – all her earlier sadness momentarily forgotten in a brief, delightful moment of glee – as Catherine tickled her mercilessly. Eventually, after several breathless pleas from Sara, Cath gave in and stopped her motions. And here they found themselves: Sara flat on her back on the couch, Catherine on top of her, their lips barely an inch apart and their breath mingling together in the air between them. Sara lifted her head, closing the space and pressing her lips to Catherine's.

"We shouldn't be doing this." Catherine mumbled into the kiss. Yet, she never broke contact. Instead, she slowly trailed a hand down Sara's side, her fingertips slipping underneath the thin shirt, teasing the soft skin beneath. Sara ran her hands up and down Catherine's back, gliding them underneath the fabric, revelling in the feel of Catherine's bare skin. Cath pulled back and looked at Sara, passion and lust burning in her crystal eyes. "If you don't stop that, pretty soon I'm not going to be able to resist you." She whispered. Sara, never breaking their hungry gaze, captured her lips once more. Tongues duelled in a blazing battle that neither would win. Catherine shifted her position, causing Sara to moan as their bodies grated together. The contact seemed to create sparks to ignite and engulf them.

So lost in their passion, they had misplaced all sense of time and space. Catherine groaned and kicked her booted feet behind her...

'CRASH!'

The sound made both women jump out of their skin, so much so that Sara nearly fell of the couch. They turned to see the remains of the mug splintered on the floor, cold tea spreading like a blood pool around the wreckage.

"Oh my God, Sara I'm sorry." Catherine apologised, climbing off the brunette. Sara sat up slowly and just smiled, waving a nonchalant hand in the direction of the mess.

"Don't worry about it."

"It's gonna stain the rug, I'll clean it up ..." Cath flapped about trying to gather the broken remains, her composure shot after the fiery kiss. Her body was still tingling where Sara's hands had roamed, like her touch had been permanently tattooed just beneath her skin forever. Sara gripped her wrists lightly, stopping her motions.

"Don't worry about it." She repeated, a soft smile gracing her face. Her cheeks were flushed and Cath could feel the heat from her, but this time it wasn't because of a fever.

"I'm sorry." Cath whispered, though she could not tell you what she was apologising for. Sara pecked a kiss lightly on her cheek and got off the floor to sit on the couch.

"Do you always get this flustered when you break something?" She asked, amusement dancing in her euphonious voice. Catherine laughed and joined her on the couch.

"No. Only when you're around." That made Sara grin. "It's not funny Sidle, I can't help it." She whined, but laughed all the same. Looking straight at the young woman before her, a gentle sigh left her lips. "What do you do to me Sara?"

**x x x x**

**Thank you all for the reviews so far. Only one or two more chapters to go :)**


	14. I'll give you every little piece of me

"I need to get you home." Catherine said after a while. Sara blinked at her.

"I am home." Cath laughed.

"_My_ home. You're still not well hon." She said. Sara pouted.

"I'm fine, I'm feeling much better." The younger woman said with a smile.

"I'll bet." Catherine chuckled, nudging Sara playfully. "But that's beside the point. You're staying with me until you're better. And before you say it, you are still not going back to work. You are coming with me." She insisted. Sara pulled a face that suggested she was not happy about this arrangement, but she had a feeling that Cath knew she was grinning inside.

"Make me." She said, raising an eyebrow seductively. Catherine looked surprised, a smile creeping onto her face.

"Hmm? Is that a challenge?" She asked, leaning forward with a feral grin. She held Sara's gaze for just a minute, before grabbing her sides again, tickling her devilishly once again. Sara squeaked and fell back, dragging the blonde on top of her.

"Alright, alright! I give in. I'll come." Sara laughed, trying to regain her composure again. Catherine smirked and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Good. Come on Stutterbug." Sara buried her face in Catherine's chest.

"Shut up. It's a serious problem." She mumbled. Cath smiled.

"Hmm. It's cute." Cath kissed her head and stood up. She offered her hand to Sara and pulled the reluctant brunette to her feet.

X x x

They arrived home to an empty house. Cath found a note stuck to the fridge from her sister:

_Taken Lindsey to school. Hope everything is ok. Behave yourself :P _

The blonde chuckled and shook her head. "You have no faith in me Nancy." She murmured.

"What?" Sara's voice startled her and she grabbed the note, stuffing it in her pocket.

"Jesus Sar, don't sneak up on me." She said in an unusually high pitched voice. She wasn't sure exactly why she didn't want Sara to see it, she just didn't.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." The brunette held up her hands in defence. "Just wanted to see if you needed any help ... with anything?" Cath shook her head and smiled.

"What have I told you? You," she forcibly sat Sara in a chair, "are here to rest." Sara didn't argue. Instead, she settled for watching Catherine work around the kitchen making lunch. She loved the way the blonde moved, still very much the dancer. She had seen this before, of course, but she had never allowed herself pay too much attention to it. But now she could let herself notice. The way her hips swayed when she walked, the way she would spin and slide to reach for things. The way she moved so naturally, effortlessly, like she didn't even know she was doing it. Sara would bet that Cath could dance in her sleep if she tried.

Finished making sandwiches, Catherine turned back to the table to find Sara watching her intensely. "What?" She questioned suspiciously.

"You're beautiful." Sara answered simply. Catherine blushed furiously.

"Oh hush." She mumbled, setting the plate down in front of her girlfriend. _Her girlfriend._ Wow that sounded weird. Good, but weird.

She didn't know why she felt so embarrassed hearing Sara say those words, she was no stranger to them after all. But something about the way she said them, something in her voice, told her that it was more than a line, or even an observation. It went deeper than that.

They ate in comfortable silence for a while. Out of the blue, Catherine spoke.

"What's it protecting you from?" Sara gave her a look which told her that she had no idea what Cath was talking about. Her cheeks started to turn pink, again, as she realised she had been thinking aloud. "The tattoo." She clarified. "You said it's a guardian angel. What's it guarding against?"

"Not it. She." Sara said. "I got her the week I turned 18. The week social services left me out on the street. Not that it mattered; I hadn't seen my last foster parents in over a year anyway, not since I finished school." A sad look clouded her features briefly. "I guess she's just there to protect me. It was kind of symbolic. So that, no matter where I am, I'm not alone." She confessed quietly. A soft hand covered her own and she looked up into caring sapphire blue eyes.

"You're never alone."

X x x

Somehow they had gotten from the kitchen to the bedroom, and misplaced the majority of their clothes in the process.

Catherine hit the bed first, pulling Sara on top of her. They never broke the kiss that they were both thoroughly engrossed in. Rolling over, reversing their positions, Catherine hurriedly tried to remove Sara's front clasp bra, but her hands were shaking too much. Eventually she had to break the kiss and looked down to see what she was doing. With the garment successfully tossed aside, their lips fused together once again. Catherine could practically feel the note from her sister burning in her pocket. _'Behave yourself.'_

She knew she should, she knew deep down that this wasn't right. Sara had a fever, and they had only just got together, and they were colleagues, and... This was so wrong.

But then why did it feel so right?

Catherine's mind stopped working all together once the last of their clothes were removed. Now nothing stood between them. Skin moved on skin, hands stroking, feeling, touching everywhere there was to touch. The older woman pulled back momentarily, studying the flushed face of the girl beneath her.

"Are you sure?" She asked, although it was a probably a little late. Sara nodded, unable to speak, but it was good enough for Catherine. "I promise I won't hurt you." She whispered, brushing a strand of hair out of Sara's eyes tenderly. Sara's only answer was to join their mouths together again.

There were no thoughts now, they were acting on instinct. Pure, unchained desire took control.

And as they brought each other to the top of the universe, their gaze never breaking, Catherine saw something in Sara's eyes, black as night, that she had never seen before. Something that seemed to scream at her _'I give in, I'm yours.'_

Trust.


	15. Thanks to you it will be done

Catherine awoke to the satisfying feeling of silk on skin. And the less satisfying feeling of being alone. She sat up, holding the sheets against her, and looked around the room. Clothes, many discarded clothes, but no Sara. Just as the worst case scenario began to plant itself in her mind, the door opened and Sara walked in, complete with breakfast.

"Hey. What's all this?" Catherine asked, making herself more comfortable as Sara placed the tray across her legs. The delicious scent of coffee and eggs invaded her senses, awakening her taste buds.

"Thought I'd surprise you with breakfast." Sara said. "Or lunch." Catherine smiled sweetly at her, taking in her appearance as she sat on the edge of the bed. Dishevelled hair, no makeup, and covered only by an oversized t-shirt. And to Cath she had never looked more beautiful.

"How sweet." She grinned. "You not having anything?" Cath asked, picking up her fork. Sara shook her head.

"Not hungry." Cath raised an eyebrow suspiciously and Sara smiled at her. "Seriously. I'll get something later, promise." Cath accepted the excuse, for now anyway.

"Okay." The blonde relented, digging in. She ate for a few minutes, before stopping and looking at her girlfriend. "Sara? Can I ask you something?" she asked, a curiousness glinting in her eyes. Sara nodded. "Last nig...this morning. What happened...you, are you..." Catherine stumbled over her words, so Sara took pity and rescued her.

"I'm ok." She smiled. A look of relief crossed the older woman's features.

"Good." She sighed. "It's just; I know we said that we were going to take _this_ slowly." She made hand gestures between the two of them. "And I know that what we did kind of goes against that." She grinned impishly. "I just don't want to rush you." Sara brushed a strand of hair behind Catherine's ear, her silent way of telling Cath that it was okay. "I know you're not a tactile person, I'm just having a hard time keeping my hands off you. I can try to stop if it's too much for you. Try." She smirked.

"It's okay. I like it." Sara admitted shyly. "I trust you."

"Good." Cath beamed, kissing her softly. "Speaking of which." she said, climbing out of bed and shuffling out of the room, complete with bed sheets, leaving behind a bemused brunette. She returned a second later, holding the small bottle of pills that made Sara's heart flutter. "Before you say anything," Cath said, kneeling down in front of her, "just hear me out, okay." She held the bottle out to Sara, who eyed it cautiously. "Take it." Cath assured her. Sara did, holding it like it was a loaded weapon. "Look at it." Cath said, keeping her voice soft. "It hasn't been opened, or tampered with. What's inside is what is on the label. It's not going to hurt you." Sara studied the bottle, finding indeed that the lid was still firmly attached and unopened. Satisfied, she nodded. Catherine smiled and took it back, twisting the child safety cap off and shaking a small, round, white sugar-coated pill into the palm of her hand. "Please, can you just try one? For me?"

Sara looked from the pill to Catherine and back again. With a shaking hand she took the little white tablet and placed it in her mouth, washing it down with a mouthful of water from the glass on the bedside table. She felt it slide down her throat, smooth and sleek. Cath beamed up at her, relief visible in her eyes. She sat up on her knees and pressed her lips to Sara's. "Thank you." She whispered into the kiss.

**x x x x**

**Short and sweet :) **


	16. I might need you to hold me tonight

**Nearly there I promise. **

**The **_**italics**_** in this chap are flashbacks. Hope y'all like it.**

**x x x x**

"Sara, honey, have you seen my ..." Cath turned around, coming face to face with Sara holding her keys up triumphantly. "Thank you." She smiled, taking them and placing a chaste kiss on Sara's lips. "Come on."

Sara and Catherine had been together for three weeks now, and Sara had been back at work for a fortnight. So far, no one knew that they were an item except for Nancy and Lindsey, who had taken the news surprisingly well:

"_Arms up!" Cath instructed, pulling her daughter's shirt over her head and replacing it with a nightgown. Lindsey giggled as Cath tickled her stomach and pulled her close. _

"_Mommy! Stop it!" She squealed. Cath stopped her movements and held her little girl against her chest, as she was sat on the bed with Lindsey stood in front of her. _

"_Linds, you like Sara right?" she asked. She felt Lindsey nod as her chin was resting on the mini blonde's head. "And you like spending time with her? You like her being around?" _

"_Yeah, she's fun, and smart. And she's really pretty." Cath smiled. _

"_Yeah, she is." She paused, not sure how to proceed with this conversation. "You see baby, I really like Sara too," she said, brushing blonde bangs behind her daughter's tiny ears. _

"_Good." Lindsey chirped, clambering onto the bed and trying to climb in. Cath pulled her back, so that she was on her lap. _

"_Honey ... I really like Sara. Like," she paused and took a deep breath. _

"_Like Daddy?" Lindsey filled in, playing with her mother's hair absentmindedly. _

"_What?" Cath asked, startled. _

"_You like Sara same as you liked Daddy?" Blue eyes stared up at her curiously, as if Catherine should have already known that. Cath smiled. _

"_Yeah. I guess I do." Did she? She didn't really know. With Eddie everything had been a whirlwind of partying, drugs, booze and sex. She had loved Ed, of course she had, but it was different with Sara. She loved Eddie because he was bad, and dangerous, and a little bit rough around the edges. She loved Sara because she was mysterious and unpredictable, but reliable and safe at the same time. And because she made Catherine feel something she never had before. _

_She had loved Eddie in spite of what he did to her. _

_She loved Sara because of what she did to her. _

X x x

That was the difference between her marriage, and all her past relationship now she thought about it, and Sara. Sara treated her right, treated her with respect, even. Lindsey had accepted their relationship with minimal fuss, despite showing a little jealousy when seeing the woman close together. Cath suspected that her little girl had a little crush on Sara Sidle herself.

Nancy, on the other hand, had found it a little more difficult to accept. Especially after getting a firsthand show from the loved-up ladies:

"_Cathy? Ca... Oh God!" She screeched, spinning on her heel and covering her eyes. Catherine and Sara hurried to cover themselves up with the blankets that were strewn across the bed and floor haphazardly. _

"_Nancy! What are you doing?" Catherine asked in an unfamiliar high-pitched voice. _

"_What am I doing?" Nancy repeated indignantly, turning back around to glare at her sister briefly before averting her gaze again. "You never called me back yesterday, I came to check that everything was okay and that you'd found Sara ... which obviously you have." She gestured in the direction of the brunette, who was holding a blanket against her chest and blushing furiously. Catherine, who was stood up wrapping a cover around herself, shook her head absently. _

"_Yeah I did. You ever hear of knocking?" She asked. _

"_Well how was I supposed to know you were going to be in here getting it on with your co-worker? Who, by the way, is supposed to be resting." Both women had the decency to look sheepish then. Nancy rolled her eyes. "Well, I was going to see how you're doing Sara, but clearly you're fine." The nurse said with a little humour in her voice. Sara grinned and nodded shyly. "So, I'm just gonna go, and ... yeah ..." she stuttered, still slightly shocked at what she had witnessed and desperate for the situation to be over. _

_She started to leave, heading downstairs towards the front door, when she heard Catherine's voice behind her. _

"_Are you decent?" Nancy asked before turning around. _

"_Yes. Well sort of." Cath answered, still only covered by a blanket. "Look Nance, are you okay with this?" Nancy took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. _

"_Am I okay with seeing my big sister having sex with another woman? No." _

"_Nance," Cath started but her sister cut her off. _

"_No, Cathy. It's alright. As long as you're happy I'm fine with it. I just wish I hadn't had to see it." She smiled, but then her face turned serious again. "But remember how Sara was just a few days ago. She needs help Cath, I don't know what, but she needs something. If you are serious about her then don't rush things. I don't want to see either of you getting hurt."_

"_I know." Catherine said quietly, taking in Nancy's lecture. "I know what she needs, I can give it to her. You just have to trust me." _

"_I do trust you. Question is, does she?" The younger Flynn said no more, just touched Catherine's shoulder lightly and disappeared, letting her words sink in. _

_As soon as the front door clicked closed a voice from the top of the stairs, quiet but sure, spoke up. _

"_I do." _

X x x

Catherine remembered the way her heart had fluttered as those words left Sara's lips.

Since then things had been going brilliantly. They had fallen into a neat little routine of work, breakfast, taking Lindsey to school, alone time, picking Lindsey up, dinner and more work. And Catherine was amazed by all the small, subtle romantic gestures from her new girlfriend. A flower on her bedside table, a chocolate muffin on her desk.

However, it wasn't all rainbows and roses. Sara was a very insecure, cautious girl and Catherine was very tactile. Sometimes Sara would pull away from physical contact, though she was doing that less and less now, and sometimes Cath had to catch herself before touching Sara, not wanting to startle her or appear to clingy.

Yet there was one day when Catherine really noticed a breakthrough:

_Cath was curled up on the couch; book in one hand, wine in the other. It had been a long day and, though she had lots to do at home, she was too tired to care. Lindsey was at school and Sara was asleep upstairs. Or so she thought. _

_Which is why it was such a surprise when the brunette appeared beside her on the couch, seemingly from nowhere. But what really surprised Catherine was what came next. With no words, and no warning, Sara leant over and rested her head against Catherine's shoulder. It was unfamiliar enough for Sara to initiate any physical contact, let alone something this close. _

_"You okay?" Cath asked, worried. Sara nodded lazily, but didn't speak. Tentatively, Catherine wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her tight against her chest. Sara relaxed into the embrace, her feather-light breath caressing the sensitive skin of blonde's neck. _

_"Bad day." She mumbled eventually. Sara had told Catherine that sometimes she had days when the memories were too much for her and that she could be difficult to be around at these times. The older woman had promised to be there regardless, and if this was Sara's idea of bad then it was going to be an easy promise to keep. _

_Snuggled together, Catherine's soothing heartbeat echoing throughout her entire body, Sara let her tears escape, making no effort to hide them now. For these were not tears of fear, or pain, or even sadness. _

_This was her release. Her way of asking for help. _

_And Catherine, holding her tightly while she cried, was the answer she had been waiting for. _


	17. Two love birds way out on a limb

**Ta Da! Finito :) Hope y'all enjoyed it, thank you so much to everyone who read and especially those who reviewed, you made my days brighter. **

**And thank you Steph for giving me the inspiration xox**

**x x x x **

"Well Miss Sidle, I'd suggest under the circumstances that you stay on the iron tablets a while longer, but all in all everything looks good." The doctor said, dropping the folder of notes onto the desk. Sara gripped Catherine's hand tightly. After a lot of talking, and a few imaginative persuasion techniques on Catherine's part, the blonde had eventually convinced Sara to see her doctor. And now Sara was making sure that Cath was not going anywhere.

"So I can go?" She asked eagerly. Catherine tried to hide her smile at Sara's forthrightness; her young girlfriend obviously did not like doctors.

"Almost." The dark-haired man smiled. "I'll just refill that prescription for you." He disappeared through a door to the side of the room, leaving the ladies alone.

"See, not that bad huh?" Cath nudged Sara playfully.

"If I recall correctly you weren't the one with the needle in her arm." Sara mumbled, rubbing the tiny mark from the blood test absently. Cath smiled and brought Sara's hand to her lips, peppering a soft kiss onto their conjoined fingers.

"I'm proud of you." She whispered. "My brave girl."

X x x

Catherine drifted into the break room, tired and stressed, and a huge smile graced her face when she saw the only other occupant in the room. Said person was leaning casually against the counter reading a magazine as the coffee pot heated up. Smirking, the blonde crept up behind her and in one quick but soft movement she grabbed the brunette's slender waist; "Hey gorgeous."

Sara jumped out of her skin and turned her body around as much as Cath's current position would allow. "Jesus Cath!" she gasped. Catherine couldn't help laughing.

"Sorry I couldn't resist." She released Sara and turned around, only to feel something hit her ass sharply. She spun around with a stunned expression. And Sara Sidle – towel in hand – looked back at her, a picture of innocence, except for the small smile twitching at her lips.

"Alright Miss Sidle, you asked for it," reaching beside her Cath picked up another towel and swatted at Sara's midriff. They swung at each other a couple of times before Catherine threw the towel around Sara's middle, catching it again so it formed a belt around Sara's back. She pulled it towards her, dragging the brunette with it. She draped her arms around Sara's neck, letting the towel slide fall to the floor, silent and forgotten. Lost in the moment, Catherine pressed a kiss to Sara's lips. They're eyes drifted closed and their embrace deepened slowly. Their surroundings became hazy and sounds faded to nothing as they stood, wrapped in each other, alone.

Surely alone...

X x x

"What the Hell!" The girls leapt apart like they'd been electrocuted.

Sara grabbed the counter behind her for support while Catherine stumbled over her feet and fell onto a stool. Both sets of eyes locked onto their interrupter.

Conrad Ecklie.

"Well?" He asked slowly, "What the hell are you doing?" The balding man demanded. Catherine stood back up and reached out a hand to Sara. Their fingers interlocked as they inched away from their ever reddening boss. For the first time they noticed the boys stood behind him, staring at them in utter shock. Grissom stepped forward from the group, a confusing mix of hurt and bewilderment in his eyes.

"Catherine?" He asked hopefully, avoiding all eye contact with Sara. The blonde looked down, biting the inside of her cheek nervously. Her eyes shifted up, latching onto Grissom's. She didn't say anything, but the look behind her blue orbs spoke volumes. He swung his gaze to Sara who met it with a steely stare.

A wholly inappropriate laugh broke the tension suffocating the team. Greg bit his tongue when he realised that everyone was staring at him, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"Whoa!" Was all he could muster. Nick and Warrick, finally shaken out of their shock, exchanged looks and grinned at the girls.

"So, you girls are ...? No way!" Nick exclaimed, shaking his head in bemusement.

"Yeah, how'd we miss that?" Warrick chuckled. Sara and Catherine exchanged understanding smiles.

"Excuse me!" Ecklie announced. "I'm still waiting for an answer."

"Isn't it obvious?" Sara answered uneasily. Cath suppressed a smirk at her partner's dig, but Ecklie clearly didn't see the funny side, in fact he looked like he was about to blow a fuse.

"My office now!" He smirked, clearly enjoying making an example of them. Sara started to take a step forward but Catherine tugged her hand back.

"No." she said simply. When Ecklie spun around to glare at them questioningly she elaborated. "We have nothing to discuss with you."

"Excuse me?" He repeated. "You two have been engaging in an illicit, inter-office, homosexual affair." Cath scoffed at that.

"Sara and I are in a relationship. We have been for several weeks now and it has not affected our work or the team. I have not been acting as her supervisor since we started this, and I won't from now on. We are not changing shifts, if you want to fire us go for it, but I'd like to see you explain that to the sheriff." The blonde laid out calmly. On the surface she looked cool as a cucumber, but only Sara could tell that she was shaking inside. Ecklie blinked at her, stunned into silence. Eventually, without another word to the girls, he turned to Grissom and sighed.

"They're you're problem. If they screw up, it's on your hands." He barked, waving his hands to the boys, who formed a passage for him to storm through. He was nearly out of sight when Catherine hollered to him.

"Oh Conrad? As much as I loved the classy spin you put on it, I can think of much better ways of describing what Sara and I have been 'engaging' in." She added with a mischievous smile. As Ecklie disappeared down the hall, he could be heard laying into a defenceless lab rat who'd dare cross his path.

Nick, Warrick and Greg made appreciative noises towards one another, while Grissom didn't move. Didn't even blink.

"Gil?" Catherine called softly, suddenly very much aware that her hand was still firmly clutched in Sara's.

"Don't Catherine." He sighed. "Congratulations." He murmured eventually, slipping away to the dark refuge of his office.

X x x

At the end of the shift Catherine and the guys were gathered in the locker room, and Cath was batting off questions from the boys left right and centre.

"What about Grissom?" Warrick dared to ask eventually. Cath sighed.

"Oh, he'll get over it. It's gonna take some time, but he will." She assured them. At that moment Sara walked in, brushing a hand across Cath's back to alert her to her presence.

"Hey gorgeous." Catherine said huskily as she rose from the bench to encircle her arms around Sara's waist from behind. At that moment, Ecklie walked past, stopped in the doorway and glared at them, before skulking off. The room erupted in laughter.

"Well, as fun as today has been, I'd say it's time for breakfast." Cath said.

"Benny's?" Greg asked hopefully, ogling the women un-subtly. Cath sighed wistfully.

"Hmm, I was thinking more along the lines of whipped cream actually." She grinned. Three jaws hit the floor and Sara's cheeks tinted pink. Catherine chuckled softly and grabbed Sara's wrist lightly, tugging her towards the door. "C'mon lover girl."

Warrick recovered the use of his voice just in time to shoot a departing comment. "Behave yourselves love birds!"


End file.
